Tell Me About It: My married lover also has a younger, single woman
Irish Times 11th March 2014 – Kate Holmquist
It was heaven for a while, until recently, when I discovered he was in love with someone else (much younger and single)
Q I am broken-hearted. I fell madly in love with a married man recently. (I too am married but the love is long dead ). He lives with his wife but I know there is not much love there either. We got on brilliantly, and he asked me to trust him and “give myself to him”, which I did.
It was a relationship where we would meet up every other month or so and contact each other by email. It was heaven for a while, until recently, when I discovered he was in love with someone else (much younger and single). He met this girl many years ago.
If he loved her so much why did he bother with me, as they were together before he met me ? She knows he was being unfaithful and knows also he is married. I hope that she has the sense to get rid of him.
I just can’t cope with this. Is there any advice you can give me to help me move on?
I know I don’t deserve help as what I did disgusts me now in hindsight, especially as I realise he just used me for sex . My self-esteem is at rock bottom.
A You do deserve help, and so much more – empathy, intimacy, sex and feeling loved. You’re afraid to seek help from people you know because you think they will judge you as harshly as you’re judging yourself. I’m glad you wrote to me, if only to hear that no one should judge you for
Original post: Family Therapy Association of Ireland